Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Heavy Metal Mania

The recent Celtic Frost show

At The House of Blues

On the Sunset Strip

Featured a mosh pit

That demonstrated 20 years

Of punk and heavy metal scenester archetypes

I watched all them from my balcony standpoint

There was the shirtless mosh police guy

Who watched the wild ones dance in a circle

And who gave a hearty shove

To any overly aggressive dancer

And also to anyone who he thought

had one coming

I saw the overzealous bouncer

Who was eager to practice his newest version

Of the headlock

On a hairy, sweaty House of Blues patron

in a Slayer Tshirt

who bumped into a girl

and spilled her Heineken

The heavy metal midget was there

He was four feet two inches tall

And wore a Testament Tshirt

The drunken loud guy

Banged his fist in the air

And moved his two hundred pound body

around a three foot radius

He showed me his Greyhound bus ticket

That he purchased in El Paso

That got him to L.A.

to see the show.

The over the hill metal fan was there.

He was balding

He had a moustache.

And he was singing along

with the words to “The Usurper”.

Numerous torn fishnet and spandex top-clad

groupie types

were in attendance.

They always are.

A fat metal kid

In size 55 waist Levis

Wore a studded black leather wrist band

Held on with a black laced shoe string

As the original leather strap must have broken.

There were also some modern scenester variations

Such as the vampire couple

Who wore pale powder white pancake makeup

And red painted lips

And black satin gloves

Both the guy and the girl, that is

In the twenty years that I have been

Going to these shows

The bands come and go

Some lead singers grow fat and bald

Drummers die

Guitar players marry, move to Minnesota

and release countless piss poor solo records.

Bass players devolve into their own private hell

And peek their heads out of their holes

For that brief hour and a half

The few nights per week

That they are on stage

The timeless creature

That is the crowd

At a thrash metal show,

Has, however,

Throughout time,

Basically stayed the same.


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