Thursday, November 30, 2006

More progress

Friday, November 24, 2006


Custom Breva

Here is a custom Breva that I am in the process of putting an USD GSXR front end on. It should be pretty cool when finished.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Bad Mechanic

I am a malicious mechanic.
I am a bad man.

I adjust valve clearances imprecisely
So poppet valve seats heat and wear
and heads pop off like dandelion flowers from stems
in childrens’ wicked hands

I ignore squeals and moans and similar indications
of engine distress
I re-use old oil filters
and change customers for new ones

I set ignition timing imprecisely,
allowing detonation to destroy what it will.

I underestimate repair charges by twenty to thirty percent
I flick cigarette ashes into intakes, carelessly

I don’t bother with spark plugs gaps. Rather,
I install plug as delivered,
which can cause poor running
and ignition issues.

Regarding engine rebuilds,
I forget to check sludge traps on crankshafts
I often place piston rings in inappropriate positions
With the land gaps lined up in order. I’m lazy.
This leads to blowby and oil loss and worse
Carbonation on piston crowns, then detonation

I neglect to measure
Engine clearances
Cylinder Bores
Piston skirt diameters

My torque wrench and calipers are uncalibrated
My pry bar is ringed with wear

I drink Pabst Blue Ribbon during the workday.
Hey! I turn wrenches for eight hour stretches
And often need motivation.

I use only the cheapest of petroleum products
I charge customers “disposal fees”
I leave greased fingerprints on paint

Often in the presence of clients
I scratch my crotch in rigorous manner
And seal deals with a grease-gloved handshake. Whatever.

In consulting customers
I bend over wheel wells and point to potential problems
And proffer my ass crack in their direction
As I mumble explanations

My breath is like a hot, unaired attic
My attire is covered with
Fluid spill and spatter
And engine oil is drawn deep
into the folds of my fingers

Monday, November 20, 2006

Willow Springs MC Races November

November Race Results:
1st Place, WSMC Vintage Lightweight Class Ducati 650

1st Place, WSMC Vintage Heavyweight Class Ducati 651 ;-)

1:38.3 best time.

There was darn near ideal weather out at Wilow this month. Even so, there were a number of crashes. I saw three spectacular crashes in which the riders went "ass over heels" into the dusty Willow runoff. One crash, in turn 2 looked like the bike exploded into a bazilion pieces spraying parts 50 feet in every direction.

I used the time between my races to ride the dirt road around the outer perimeter of Willow on my YZ250 and found some sineage left over from the old days at Willow.
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